Coping with University Life
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
University is not what I imagined it to be. I am so lonely; I miss home, my parents, and all of my friends. This is starting to affect my emotional well being, which is causing me not to focus as much on my academics. My parents tell me to be strong, and not to forget why I’m there, but I just miss them so much, especially my mom because I worry about her a lot. I really feel like giving up and just switching to a University closer to home. What should I do, Sammy?
Oh, come on Lonely! It's now October, so you’ve made it past September and are now on your way to December. You’ve made it this far, so please don’t discard that progress for the easy way out of self-defeat. Try not to allow yourself to engage in any self-defeating thoughts for they're only coping behavior, which only helps you cope with the temporary loneliness. In the long term though, it doesn’t solve the problem or heal the pain.
Look at your e-mail, and look at what your loneliness is costing you right now: Your well-being and a chance at self-growth and change. One of the most dangerous effects of self-defeating behaviors and attitudes is that they keep us stuck in the past and prevent us from responding to the most precious moments in life-the here and now. Remember that your family members are rooting for you at home and that’s a key component for coping and succeeding in University.
Your loneliness seems to be stemming from a lack of socialization within your university environment as well as concern for your mom at home. Always remember that your Mom was strong enough and courageous enough to let you go in the first place, so you have to keep up that same strength that got you here and complete what you started. Allow the right influences both off and on campus to rejuvenate your spirit. Maybe you can visit a place that your mom would be interested in, so when you do talk again you have something else to talk to her about besides missing each other.
So Lonely, please try thinking of the payoff and not the sacrifice. By thinking of the payoff you will gain will power, while thinking of the sacrifice, will only continue the loneliness that is now debilitating and discouraging your mind.
Continue sending your emotional questions to Sam at , Listen to her show every Wednesday at 8 at CFRU-93.3 FM and catch her "Dear Sammy" Cannon column every Monday for her responses.