Don't Get Crushed by your Crush

Monday, November 20, 2006

Written by Samartha Gamble

Dear Sammy,

I am in my second year of University, and I have this huge crush on my English professor. Every time I am in class with her I feel an enormous attraction for her that I can’t seem to shake. I know that she is married with children, but I see sadness in her eyes. She looks at me with so much affection; I think she is sending me a message. I want to approach her, and tell how I feel. What should I do?

  • Crush

Dear Crush,

Don't do anything! If you want to get an "A" from your crush then I sincerely advise you to ignore this temptation, before it throws you off course. Remember also that temptation is always costly once acted upon and I think you just might be misreading that look in your prof’s eyes. But if you are right, then you still need to consider the consequences to your academic and emotional well-being for choosing to act on your assumptions. Many of us often have no control over the people we become attracted to, but what we do have control over though is our actions. Be aware that there's a shark lurking in the waters you want to take a swim in! So I strongly recommend that you don’t go swimming in the deep blue sea, and if you should be tempted, make sure your take your “harpoon” (your sensibilities)with you.

There are two major things here that suggest to me that you are heading for trouble and unnecessary heartache. For starters, this is your professor, not the cute girl who sits behind you in class. She is a woman who is your academic superior and may also be a wife and a mother, not an unattached and capable of reciprocating your feelings. If all this obvious information isn’t enough of a warning sign of the potentially negative consequences to come, then your heart and mind may be truly blinded.

While it is healthy and natural to have crushes on those who motivate and inspire us towards greatness, it is truly unhealthy and selfish to encourage them, letting them destroy our lives. If you truly believe you cannot help the way you feel about this professor, then I recommend that you talk with a counselor at your university who can help you understand your feelings and to help you make a choice that is complimentary to your values and beliefs.

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