Undercover Smothered

Monday, February 19, 2007

Written by Samartha Gamble

Dear Sammy:

I am 20-years-old and in my first serious relationship. Meeting my girlfriend is the best thing that has happened to me, but being with such an amazing person seems to come with a cost! We’re together all the time and she’s very affectionate, which is something I’m not used too. Instead of feeling the same towards her, I’m feeling overwhelmed by all of this attention. Everything is happening so quickly between us and I don’t know how to handle all of it. I want to tell her how I’m feeling, but am afraid she’ll think my feelings for her have changed. How should I go about this, Sammy? By the way, great Valentine’s Day Show!

  • Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed:

Thank you for your feedback, I’m glad to hear you enjoyed our show!

No matter how you try to sugar coat your discomfort for your girlfriend, she’s still going to feel hurt. When you do tell her how you feel, it’s very important that you emphasize how much you appreciate everything that she has done thus far. You'll also want to empahasize that you’re not unhappy and that you don't want to breaking up with her. You said no one has ever treated you the way she has before, but since you’ve never been shown this much attention, you don’t know how to handle it and as a result, you’re feeling overwhelmed. Regardless of your concerns, you seem to be very appreciative of all the things your girlfriend does, but you’d feel more comfortable if she didn’t over do it. Since this is your first serious relationship, your girlfriend may be more experienced then you and may believe that how she’s behaving is normal. Perhaps you should ask your girlfriend to take the relationship a bit slower. If she cares about you, she will understand your request and move at a pace that’s more comfortable for you.

Don’t wait any longer to let her know how you feel. It’s better to get it off your chest now rather then continuing to feel uncomfortable. You are doing the right thing by letting her know your concerns about the relationship and if she takes the news the wrong way and tries to make you feel guilty, don’t take it too personally. I suggest that the both of you try spending less time together. It can be very healthy for couples to spend some time apart and then come back to one another feeling refreshed. It might take her sometime to adjust and she may even act distant towards you at first, but in the end it will be worthwhile. If you are open and honest with your girlfriend, you stand a better chance of cultivating a healthy and long lasting relationship. Good luck and remain positive.

  • Sammy
| More
Bookstore First Year