Call me paranoid

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

  • "Hey Hussein!!"

    "Hey Hussein!!"

Just when it seemed that the vast majority of Americans were about to finally turn the corner on their support of the misguided War In Iraq, the troops go and pop Saddam out of the ground like a little bearded gopher. But in the ensuing mayhem, nobody checked to see if Saddam saw his shadow. No matter. There's little doubt that Iraq's winter of discontent is far from over.

"We got him," they said. A great soundbite, no doubt. And, let's face it, it makes for a beautiful headline. But the capture (or execution) of Saddam Hussein was only one small part of the "mission" in Iraq. It's kind of like trying to make it to the Superbowl and winning the Grey Cup instead. It's pretty good, but not the big prize. Have we forgotten about the weapons of mass destruction? Where are the chemical weapons? Are the Iraqi people safer? More free?

This is where George Bush's rabbit's foot comes into play. Misdirection is the most important facet of any sleight of hand, and in this, GB is a master.

We stood right across the table from him while he produced weapons of mass destruction out of thin air. We stood gap-mouthed as he amazed us with Bin Laden/Hussein connections pulled right out from behind our ear! The master illusionist, he even made us see chemical weapons labs on the backs of transport trucks. All the while palming his own connections with the Bin Laden family and Saddam Hussein himself. And pocketing the fact that thousands of Iraqi civilians have been "collaterally damaged" by coalition forces.

While incredibly surprising, the capture of Saddam is obviously not a panacea for Iraq. Yes, the citizens are overjoyed. Who wouldn't be? He was a murderous monster who systematically tortured and killed his own people - his own sons-in-law, for crying out loud. Canadians were practically dancing in the streets when Mulroney was defeated.

But will Saddam Hussein make it to trial? Where will it be and what will come out of it?

Call me a cynical conspiracy theorist, but I have a feeling that Saddam won't ever testify. If he makes it to trial and starts to itemize his past relationship with the U.S. (and Canada, too), specifically with Bush the first, things are going to get interesting very quickly. Oh, the stories that boy can tell! I just don't see how Bush can let that happen. To carry my paranoia even further, don't you think it's odd that, all of a sudden, Bush thinks that the Iraqi people can handle this one themselves? He's down with Iraqi justice.

My advice to those who want to see Saddam Hussein on the stand?
Keep him out of the parking garage in the basement of the Dallas police station.

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