The Battle of the Sexes: What the hell happened?

Monday, October 6, 2008


Written by Kristina Feher

The scale of the sexes is unbalanced and we're way overdue for some logical actions to be made on both ends by an overwhelming majority. It's time for change.

Gone are the days where men would fight for the honour of women and where the female form was praised and glorified in all shapes and sizes because of it's ability to give life. Now, it's impossible for me to go through a day without hearing a man call another woman a "bitch" or "whore" or "slut", whether it's on T.V, online or out in public. Men no longer respect a woman's body because of it's miraculous abilities, but degrade it down to something that they have the right to own, use and criticize. This is enraging and of course, unjust. But where did it come from? A lot of women will just jump on the whole "men are dogs" band-wagon, but I truly think the problem is much deeper than the "natural inclinations" excuse that men use now a days.

A lot of it can be blamed on the lack of social constraints. Even a hundred and fifty years ago, there was an ethics code in place to protect the dignity of both men, and women. Go back even further, a man's eyes would be poked out if he "dishonoured" a man's wife by looking and lusting after her openly.
Yes, perhaps huge leaps for women in the political world had not been made at that time, but no one ever talks about the fact that women were huge contributors to society through their contributions and hard labour at home (and if they do, it's with raging condescension). Supporting a good, and I stress the word good, man and raising children into decent citizens is something that was respected and now a days, it's something that is looked down upon, as if a woman actually can't do any good for the family, that her talents are better used in the work force. This is the ridiculousness of the idea right here: Feminism was meant to open the doors for women to choose either, not to take one thing and replace it with another.

But women didn't see that choice, they saw it as an either/or situation and this was devastating. By abandoning the place where they were earning respect and going into an arena where they unfortunately had none, men were left to their own devices about how to treat the new situation. It wasn't pretty and over time, the moral fiber of society has been sucked dry.
So, without this moral fiber of society in place, men were free to indulge in their animal desires, and digressed into a far more barbaric state. They may not be clubbing us over the head and dragging us into bushes, but overall attitudes are no better. Eventually, women decided "well crap, I guess this is just how we are and we have to deal with it". Oh, ladies, how wrong we are. We just stopped holding the bar high enough.

To compound the problem, the more women would complain about "lack of respect", the less they did to try and earn it back. For example, I'm all for dressing to be attractive, but for it's not rocket science to figure out that if you dress like a slut, you'll be treated like a slut. I'm sorry ladies, you cannot have your cake and eat it too. So, of course, men being intelligent creatures just like us, they saw us in our hypocritical state, and they eventually learned to take us less and less seriously.

Not to dog on you great guys out there, we know you exist. Some of us are lucky to have you in our lives, and some of us know we're making it really hard on you to be real men. I am completely, 100% for a woman being into her career, having her right to vote, equal pay, being able to defend herself and provide for herself, of course. But women need to realize that while some of these battles have been won for us (and others continue to be fought) there are other things we need to focus on now, and that is making our men feel like men again.

If any of you have studied the basics in human behaviour, you'll understand the inherent --need-- for a man to be the protector. The provider. The problem solver. That's just what they are. While these linear thinkers no longer have to go out and hunt for days to feed us, it is completely ingrained in them and will never be removed. We just have to accept this and work with it to our mutual advantage.

The funny coincidence is that now a days, women are so used to men being "dogs" because its part of their "inherent nature" that they accept it, but refuse to accept this other, bigger, more important inherent attribute (providing, protecting, etc) because it impedes on them, apparently.

I'm sorry, what?

This means that we're okay with men treating us like degraded whores because "they can't help it" but we won't let them at least help provide for us because it impedes on our feminine freedom?

Does anyone else see something revoltingly wrong with this?!

You might ask yourself, what do we even need men for anymore? We can make our own money, do whatever job we want to do, become ferocious warriors, we can even become pregnant without their help now a days. Men need women for the social networking we're so good at, because without us, later in life, it gets pretty damn lonely. Women can be without a partner, and still be emotionally and socially stable because of her inherent need to network. So not only do we no longer need men for the things they used to be able to do for us, they're actually somewhat screwed without us.

Sorry fellas. I don't think this was an intentional part of our movement.

Our society is filled with guys who either are abusive and disrespectful, kiss way too much ass, or are the really nice guys at heart, but are sweapt up in today's sensationalistic, hedonistic ways. At the same time, we have too many ladies who think that submitting to a loving and caring man is a sign of weakness, but this is just ridiculous.
It takes a strong, smart woman to know when to submit, just as it takes a strong, smart man to know when to take the lead, or when to submit to her. Mutual submission, when done properly and logically, is the best way to formulate gender relations.

Bottom line:
Ladies, don't submit to a guy if he's a jackass and doesn't know what's best for you, and what your talents are. Don't be hypocritical by demanding respect for you body and mind when you don't act or behave in ways that warrant it.
Gentlemen, don't submit to a woman who bosses you around all day and never lets you have an opinion about anything. We know it's hard to control those urges, but I guarantee you, you'll get way more attention from the ladies if you behave like a gentleman.

It's time to raise those bars and see what the other sex is made of.

| More


Back to Top
  1. Posted by: Omar on Oct 15, 2008 @ 7:40am

    Hip hop culture is largely to blame. If you surround yourself by it as a woman, you'll clearly have that perception. Take a poll outside that subculture, and I guarantee that the majority of males no longer consider women 'bitches.' If you surround yourself with people whose subconscious minds are ruled by the violent/racist/misogynistic lyrics they constantly recite, do you not think that such behavior is logical?

    What I'm trying to say, I suppose, is that it's not nearly as bad as you're making it seem (unless you're in the middleeast), you simply need to remove yourself from that subculture.

    Before someone smacks a bitch up,


  2. Posted by: Kristina on Oct 17, 2008 @ 11:47am

    Oh, I'm absolutely aware its not as bad as it seems, the point of my article was to touch upon a part of society I was interested in, so really, I'm playing devils advocate, questioning the "worst" motives.
    I'm actually engaged to an amazing gentleman who is a great role model for that other portion of society, so when I said that I know there are great guys out there, I obviously meant it ;)

    The media, music included therefore, is definitely to blame, as you mentioned.
    But we're living in an age where people are told what to think, how to think, what opinions to have more and more. With the dumbing down of our North American society, the question I'm really asking is that is there potential for it to get worse, or will there be some kind of gender revolution at some point in time, where people are just tired of what's out there, and go back to older ways? I don't know, but definitely fun to think about. Thanks for your input!! :)

  3. Posted by: Omar on Oct 17, 2008 @ 3:02pm

    My pleasure. I like to think that it's a phase that most people eventually grow out of (with enough exposure to the world outside of MTV and BET.) Thus, as you grow older, it will probably seem better because of your surrounding demographic, but if you have kids, you'll probably see a resurgence as they deal with the same crap. Just make sure they see it for what it really is!

    Remember when Big Band music and Jazz were seen as a threat to civilized society? I yearn for such a time!

    Best regards,


  4. Posted by: Nyketa on Oct 28, 2008 @ 12:33am

    I find it very offensive when people immediately blame hip hop for the lack of respect men have towards women. Hip Hop is an extremely wide and diverse genre and 70% of actual hip hop does not slander and degrade females but it actual tries to uplift and place some value on their heads. This unfortunately is not the type of hip hop that they play on our radio and television stations because it would not sell. If you take the music BET and MTV play on their stations as "hip hop" you're not getting a true picture of the genre. Yes, most of the music these artists make is degrading but isn't that because that's what the people nowadays want to hear. If no one wanted to hear about the bitches, and hoes, and cars, artists would stop making that type of music. I don't believe that the problem lies in hip hop, but of the listeners of "mainstream" hip hop...because as long as they want to hear about it, the artists will continue to make it.

    A word can only hurt you if you give power to it.

  5. Posted by: Christina on Jan 6, 2009 @ 4:43pm

    I totally agree! If we women would stop lowering our standards for the first jackass who hints that he might be interested in us, we'd all be better off. Balance is key. We need men. MEN. Not boys, "homies", or whatever else they may be called. But Men will have no reason to be Men until we are Women. I suppose they both need the other in order to exist... kinda funny how our species survival depends on that too huh?

  6. Posted by: Corey on Jan 15, 2009 @ 5:02pm

    The "hip hop" issue. The image more than the music itself is the more influential. If you separated the video from the song you would get different opinions. But now that they are almost never exclusive, they are considered as one. Any mainstream hip hop video almost always has 3 things: slow motion, monetary surroundings (expensive cars/jewelery) and most relevant, scantily clad women, which is the part most relevant to gender respect in this topic. But what do men need? To feel powerful. classically, and by nature we get that from a female counterpart. When we walk home that lady late at night, keeping her on the inside of the street, and scanning subtlety for possible dangers, we feel powerful. we feel like a protector and that we are needed. The shift in women failing to succumb to the care of the classic male role, changes our behavior. The feeling of power now comes from the mere possession of women and "lay count". No wonder me are looked at as jerks and players. That's what they have become to feel powerful and seen as a threat by other males. But yes there are still those guys out there who look for a woman they can put a giant shield around and care for. Lets hope that some women still realize that.

  7. Posted by: Hammad on Feb 16, 2009 @ 10:10pm

    Wow, Islam just came straight to my mind. As in, Islam's teaching to men are to take care of the muslim women. And women have to do their part to take care of themselves (this is partly why women in Islam cover themselves - bcuz guys are going to act wrongfully..even one who can "control" himself..don't provoke the guy..).

    Women have more power over men than they think. Women can actually control society if they control themselves. The guys need to hold themselves too (it's easier if women don't dress like "sluts" and so open..guys are aroused by sight and smell - sorry, it's a fact.)

    Women are very important in Islam. There are books about certain women these days that write about them. Sadly, ppl have become more and more ignorant..so just bcuz one calls himself "muslim" he may actually not be, from his practices. (That's why you judge a person by their religion, not judge a religion by the person.)

    Perhaps a reason alcohol is forbidden in Islam is bcuz you can lose your control (men and women)..

    This was a great article.

  8. Posted by: Locke on Mar 23, 2009 @ 10:13pm

    If you need a religion that infringes on the rights of women simply to contol yourself that's just sad. Islam is a very impressive religion but using it simply to curb your own base needs is not what it is about. Even more so rape cases are much more prevalent in the midle east than in any country in the "first world".

Share your thoughts

Bookstore First Year